How should teachers talk to parents about concerns about their child?
Talk to parents privately and calmly, start with the child's strengths, describe specific observations with examples rather than labels or diagnoses, listen to the parents' views, suggest practical next steps such as an assessment, and agree how you will work together. Follow up in writing and keep the information confidential.
What this means in practice
Parents may feel worried, defensive or relieved when a teacher raises a concern. A respectful, evidence-based conversation builds trust and makes it more likely the child gets support.
A simple structure
- Strengths: what the child does well.
- Observations: specific, dated examples.
- Questions: what do parents notice at home?
- Plan: next steps and who will do what.
- Follow-up: a date to review.
Language to avoid
Avoid diagnostic terms such as 'he has ADHD' unless a professional has diagnosed it, and words such as 'lazy' or 'naughty'.
After the meeting
Send a short written summary of what was discussed and agreed, including next steps and review dates. Continue sharing positive observations as well as concerns. Check in after the agreed period to discuss progress and whether any referral has happened. Keep records confidential and share them only with staff who need them. Building trust over several conversations often matters more than any single meeting.
Practical next steps
- Prepare dated observations and work samples.
- Plan a private meeting.
- Use the structure above.
- Agree and record next steps.
What to keep in mind
Parents have the right to decide about assessment. Continue supporting the child in class whatever they decide.
Common follow-up questions
Should the special educator attend?
Often helpful, especially if they can explain next steps.
What if parents disagree?
Listen, share evidence, offer time and keep supporting the child.
Sources
- IRIS Center, Vanderbilt University: special education modules
- EEF: Special educational needs in mainstream schools
Sources inform the explanation; examples are educational illustrations, not individual clinical advice. How these answers are prepared.